How to run a successful post-reality television campaign

The clock is ticking on your relevance... here's how to add a few extra hours

So you just starred in your first reality television show. Congrats! Now, whip out that phone a producer just handed back to you—it’s time to get to work and, honey, you’re already late. You’re a star now, baby, but that window of fame is finite and closing as we speak. It’s on you to force it back open for as long as you can. The Internet might last forever, but the attention of its users certainly doesn’t. The meme you unknowingly created while being filmed for over 12 hours straight only gets you so far, mamacita. You’ve gotta capitalize. Here’s how to do it.

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• Make an Instagram or TikTok post on your main feed announcing your grand debut as a star. This is your personal press release, but sexier. Make it casual yet self-aware, nodding to any memes or fights you started that remind people why they gave a s*** about you in the first place.

• Do an AMA or Live on IG/TikTok for all your new followers that threatens to break your NDA. The more tantalizing, the better. If there’s not a risk of you potentially getting sued or slapped with a cease and desist, your audience doesn’t want it!

• Take a fun trip or do a dinner date with your castmates. Document everything. The more “relatable” a trip, the better. Your castmates like you, which means the rest of the world should as well! Make sure everyone knows the bond forged over a few month-long period has brought you closer than family—which means their followers are basically your family too.

• Hit up Alex Cooper. Forget Fallon or Kimmel. That overstuffed velvet chair in front of a microphone is your coveted late-night stop.

• If Alex leaves you on read, reply to that DM from Nick Viall. Even if Alex does respond and your “Unwell” sweats and hoodie are already in the mail, give Nick a call.

• Round up your podcast tour. Once you’ve got the heaviest hitters out of the way, map out a few others to hit up. There’s Barstool’s Chicks in the Office, The Squeeze with Taylor and Tay Lautner, fellow reality television star AD’s (Love is Blind) What’s the Reality, just to name a few.

• In between podcast appearances, reply to comments regarding whatever drama you found yourself in or party to, either clearing your name or fueling the fire. Audience engagement is key. This keeps the news cycle around your show (and, more importantly, around you) alive and will help prolong your shelf life. Balance quip with shadiness. If it can’t be mass-manufactured into a t-shirt, then don’t waste the character count. And remember, all press is good press.

• Start going to therapy if you haven’t already. Make sure everyone knows you’re going to therapy.

• Plan your reunion look and rehearse your story. Get your glam squad, outfit, and Botox in order. One ill-performed lip filler, and you’ll get eviscerated on the Internet. A good look is fine, a bad one is memeable, but a truly great one is unforgettable. And make sure you’ve got your narrative straight so, when the camera pans to you, you’re ready to set the record straight.

• Start road mapping your next move. Even if you do all of the above, people have already forgotten you. That means you need to plot your next project that will shove you back into that spotlight you so desperately crave. Options include and are limited to: a podcast, TikTok influencerdom, a podcast, maybe a tell-all memoir (within the bounds of your NDA), a podcast, and going on another reality television show. Did I mention you could start a podcast?